He was tall, dark and handsome(just like a Mills and boons hero)…we were walking on a beach, bare feet, hands in each other’s hands, talking about our perspective future together ,oh, it felt so right, It was just perfect, there was nothing in the world that could separate us now and then…..BANG, “Girl, Don’t you want to go to school today”, that was my mum, who was banging on the door , god knows for how long, trying to wake me up, UGH! If only, she could let me sleep for another 5 minutes…I was about to reach the climax, but nevertheless, I reluctantly got up and started preparing for my school, with my mind still thinking of a dream I had.
My question to mothers here, why do we allow the minds of our young girls to be polluted by this kind of romantic novels and fictions ? what purpose does it serve? , it’s based on fictious characters and not real ones. Girls create a fantasy world around them, and dreams about having a perfect life, with a perfect life partner, honey moon in Paris and so on. With their imagination running wild, what would happen when a girl gets married and find her married life, contrary to what she has read in those novels? what would happen when their dreams of love and romance is shattered and they have to face the real world. Who gives them the impression that life is a bed of roses? who is to be blamed?
The problem is, mothers from the very early age allow their toddlers to read /or read to them fairy tales, in which a prince comes to rescue the young girl, which he falls in love with ,and at last marry her….and they live happily ever after. Does this all sound familiar to you? if you notice here marrying = living happily ever after, what kind of a message are we trying portray here to such vulnerable young minds.
why we don’t encourage our kids to read stories based on moral and character building, and religious stories of our great Islamic leaders, or Quranic stories in this regard. why does this always has to be good old Cinderella , Snow white and Little Mermaid. why, do we not allow them to indulge into any Adventurous novels like Robinson Crusoe? why does it always has to be Sweet Valley high and Mills and Boons? I think mothers are the culprits in this case, as girl’s upbringing is solely her responsibility. The way a mother trains or grooms her children has a long term effect on the personalities of the children. They can’t decide for themselves at an early age, the kind of content they want to read or watch. So mother’s, it’s high time that you stop your negligence and pay heed.
It’s a mother’s duty to keep a check on the kind of books a young indulges from a very young age, why Indian drama’s and Bollywood movies are being shown to children from the very beginning, why mother never notices the kind of books a girl purchases, or gets issued from a library? why separate TV’s and personal computer or a laptop in a child’s room…why a mobile phone is been given to a child from such a young age that a child can’t even take the responsibility of, that too an expensive one?
Mothers! YOU and only YOU, are accountable and would have to answer on the day of judgment! if you don’t have enough knowledge, you can always ask for help…If you have all the time in the world to go to kitty parties and lawn exhibitions, then you would have to take out time for your girls too! The problem is that we live in a fake , artificial world where Bad or Immoral deeds are no more considered as ‘Bad’, and Good deeds are not regarded as ‘Good’ or ‘Virtuous’ , in fact it’s being labeled as extremism and backwardness.
I would conclude here by just adding that it is a mother who has to play the role as, she is around the child most of the time, children always look up to their mothers for guidance and if we are not practicing Muslim mothers ourselves, what can we teach to young minds, who Allah has chosen us to be their parents, they didn’t get to choose us.
There is a Hadith in Sahi bukhari highlighting the importance of upbringing of children in Islam
Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him ) said:
“Each one you is responsible and each of you will be asked about his (or her) dependents. The ruler is responsible and answerable and will be asked about his subjects and each man is responsible for his house and will be asked those under him. (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No.853)