It’s just the other day when I was having lunch with my family that I realized how excessively I complain. I tried achar first and suddenly not finding it to my liking, said isme khata kam hai , then I tried my hand on biryani, after taking two, three bites, I now started judging biryani, giving my final verdict, isme mirchain kitne ziada hain and lastly when we came to the last part of our meal yes, yes , I am talking abt the dessert part, as soon as I took a bite, all eyes were one me waiting for me to fail or pass the dessert. It made me embarrassed and suddenly it occurred to me that ever since I started eating lunch, I didn’t stop complaining about the food, which was prepared with so much love by my mother and I was continuously criticizing it .It’s just that we become so habitual of complaining that we don’t realize that sometimes it hurts others feelings too.
As we discussed earlier in my post,Women, can we stop complaining that we, Women are good at one thing and that is complaining. We discussed the reasons behind it. Now let’s discuss how can we minimize this habit if not completely put a stop to it.
Life Without Problems is Plain Boring (yes try positivity, darling)
Try to stay positive in all kind of situations, not because the situation is itself positive but you have no other option but to stay positive, and you never know your positivity might reduce the problem. Take it as a part of life. A new experience, a new challenge.You have two options you either smile and accept the situation and work to make things better, or you can cry as much as you can and feel shitty, which, I am sure can never change your situation. for instance, a person was rude to you, and that made you feel awful. Just tell yourself, Maybe the person had a rough day, and was very tired, or maybe he didn’t mean to sound rude it’s just he’s having a bad phase in life. Now even if your sure 99.9% that a person did that to you intentionally, still practice positivity, just to make yourself feel better, just to comfort yourself, for your peace of mind. (does it make sense? well I have tried it, and believe me it works)
My favorite mantra, “This too shall pass,” kept me going on even in the worst of situations. Constantly remind yourself that things never remain the same. Change is inevitable, it will happen whether it’s tomorrow, a day after tomorrow, next week, or perhaps next month. Tell yourself what if you were in worst kind of a situation, yes even worse than your current one, what would you have done? This shall make you less stressed, as I said earlier, practice positivity. It does make a hell lot of difference.
Complaining Doesn’t Solve Problems You Might as well Stop
Constantly remind yourself that, complaining won’t solve any of your problems. So all the time spent in complaining, whining, making a fool out of yourself could be well spent in finding the solution of the problem that your facing. You can always find plenty of stuff available on google as well as there are ample of books out there with in-depth knowledge that you can imagine ( So do your research it might not be such a big issue that your making it out to be )
Share Your Problems With People Who genuinely Care
If your feeling down and depressed and you think you must let it out to make you feel better, then you must discuss your problem with someone who is close to you, who has a good idea of your situation, that too not very often, just because they are willing to listen doesn’t mean you over do it.
Caution: Don’t just go around complaining and discussing your issues, instead of people sympathizing with you, you will be a laughing stock.
Stop Complaining to People, Complain to Allah (SWT) only
Talk to Allah SWT, cry your heart out, complain to him, ask him only, cuz he only knows what you are going through. He loves you more than 70, 000 mothers, now if he loves you this much, how can he leave you just like that. The Problem is we don’t know how to ask him, how to complain to him as we are so busy with complaining to all the wrong places.
Practice patience. Now patience doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be someone’s doormat. It means staying patient and not acting irrationally. Before reacting to any situation. Pause. Feeling angry? Pause. Feel like screaming? Pause. When you practice pause, it will stop you from acting on impulse, that will automatically lead you to the solutions of the problems, hence less complaining.
Don’t Overdo Things
Sometimes we tend to pressurize ourselves. We commit too many things. We have too many deadlines to meet that we can possibly handle. We actually commit to goals that are not even realistic. Which as a result makes us angry and grumpy, hence we complain. We need to understand and evaluate the amount of work and pressure that we are capable of handling.
Lack of Routine and Time Management
If you are a student or a working woman or whatever your current designation is. If you lack routine and sound planning , then believe me, you can’t do anything in the world, despite the fact how talented you are, how many degrees you acquire. So, time management is the key to success . And when you have bigger goals to achieve and you don’t properly manage your time or schedule. It affects the quality of your work, you have to face the consequences and then you complain, “why does it always happen to be” “why I have to be the unlucky one”. So don’t play a blame game, try to overcome your short comings too.
Look At People With Bigger Problems than Yours
Look at people who have bigger problems than yours. Sit with them, listen to them, you will some peace and assurance that your situation is much better than a lot of people out there for e.g a person who can’t even afford a single decent meal, or a person whose on a last stage of cancer, you are far better than a person who doesn’t have a roof over his head, yet these people don’t complain and find contentment in living a life that even lacks basic necessities.
Lower Down Your High Standard
Sometimes your standards are way too high that leads to dissatisfaction. So, I would advise you to accept certain/situations the way they are. Learn to adapt, accept, modify according to the situation. When you don’t accept the situation the way it is, that’s when a lot of complaining happens.
See a Therapist
If you think you can’t overcome your problems, can’t stop complaining , you don’t have anyone to talk to, or you neecomplainingd help or advice , you can see a therapist, who can guide you as well as if feels the need, can prescribe you with a medicine too.
Those were some of my tips that definitely helped me a lot. With little changes in habits and attitude, we can definitely minimize our habit of complaining . Shoot me a comment if you like/dislike or would like to add something to it.