Are you happy with a kind of relationships you have with people around you? if you feel positive and content then chances are, you have built healthy relationships. However, sometimes, you can’t comprehend, what went wrong with your relationship and who to turn to. If you are someone who is struggling with relationships and can’t decide what is wrong, why you don’t get along with people. The post is just for you.Sometimes we are so blinded by our egos to realize our own mistakes. Once you figure out what part is it that your not doing right, odds are it will save many of your future relationships. In my experience, there’s one common mistake that people do all the time, that is, “They don’t invest in their relationships”
Relationships don’t flourish by themselves. They require a lot of hard work.Let me ask you a very simple question here: If you decide to plant a flower in your garden what would you do? of course, you water it, provide it with the best of soil and sunlight. In short you invest in it. Similarly, you need to Invest in your relationships too, to make them work. Let’s be realistic things don’t always turn out to be the way you see in movies, or plays. Nothing gets fixed automatically. If one wants to enjoy healthy relationships, then one must strive hard for it.There’s no magical formula that ‘Fits all’ but hard work and consistency is surely a key to success in anything. I am sharing below, are some ‘to do tips’ that will definitely give a boost to your relationships.
Treat People right to make relationships work
I know it’s a little tricky. Your treating people right might be different from mine. What you need to do is treat people similarly the way you would like to be treated yourself. Now we all want people to treat us with respect. So, first of all, learn to respect people. Now respect doesn’t mean you become a doormat to someone or be weak or lose your voice. It only means that even when you have a difference of opinion with the other person, you still respect the person’s point of view without sounding harsh or rude. Try to be in their shoes, see things from their perspective too.Make a rule to respect people at all times.Having a difference of opinion is only natural, it doesn’t have to affect your relationship with them.
In my opinion, nothing works better than complementing or appreciating people a little to maintain a good relationship. Now it doesn’t really cost you a dime or does it? for instance, you can compliment their new dress or a new hair style or a shade of lipstick. Hell, you can even compliment on their smile. Making someone’s day or boosting their self-esteem does wonder to people. You are the reason to bring a smile to their faces, you are a reason to transform their world, naturally they will like you more. You would feel happy too when you make someone happy. Now don’t confuse compliment with flattery. Compliments made should be genuine and not fake
Have more Empathy
Learn to empathize with people when they are going through a rough phase in life. Offer an advise, try to solve their problems in a best possible way you can. When they find you sincere with them, and feel that you genuinely care about them. It builds a strong relationship.
Be a good listener
Listen to what people have to say. Find out more about their interests, rather than just talking about yourself only. As a result, you will learn more about them, and have a better understanding.
Give what is their due right
Give people what you owe them. Don’t give extra, don’t give any less. Just do the ‘Right thing’. The best way to make any relationship work is to give people their due right. Don’t make them think that your not providing them with their rights for e.g you must know, being a mother, a wife or a daughter or a friend, what are your responsibilities, what is expected of you or what you are accountable for.This will guide you on how to handle your relationships with people. Now your child needs most of your time, as he/she is dependent on you. Your mother needs your support and your husband needs you by his side to be his strength and to support him morally as well as emotionally. If you give everyone their due rights, you will have balanced relationships.
Don’t criticize people when they come to you to share their problems, by saying ‘ Look I told you so and so’ ‘how could be so foolish’. Most of the times people just want you to listen to them without offering any advice or criticism.
Agree on Mutual Points
Try to talk about things that you have in common with people, instead of talking about things that they can’t relate to or have a difference of opinion on. If they realize that you don’t have similar interests or you talk mostly about things that only interest you. It will greatly hamper your relationship with them. Imagine a person talking about Shakespeare or Marlowe with you when your least interested in literature, how would you react?
Avoid Negative Talk
Try to have a positive conservation with people. Talk about current affairs, sports or latest trends. Don’t spoil the fun by just talking about your problems only or tragedies happened with you in life. Nobody wants to hear about your problems believe me. They will start having negative vibes from you, and will avoid you like a plague.
Don’t destroy your relationship with people to win an argument. It’s alright, two adults can have a different point of you. In other words, agree to disagree, to read more about it , read my post Why I stopped arguing.
In the end, I would just say Humans are social animals, they do need human beings around them to survive. Hence, it’s important for each of us to make our relationships work until and unless one wants to be a loner. At the end of the day, we all want to share our happy moments, adventures, our success stories , as well as our failures, only makes us humans, and it will only be possible when we take some time out to work on our relationships. I hope you liked this post, if there are any tips of your own that you would like to add to the post, please feel free to add in the comment section.