We all have heard of sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse…but have you heard of Psychological abuse a.k.a Emotional abuse? let me tell you it doesn’t cause pain (physical pain) neither it leaves any bruise, but it’s still very unhealthy. Sometimes we only relate abuse with hitting or shoving, calling names, or saying awful things about a person in public. But, what we don’t know is that we might be Psychologically abused ,without being aware of it. Any action that causes mental stress and robs off a person of his/her identity ,self-worth and dignity fall into a category of Psychological or Emotional Abuse. Victims often say that it’s the most hurtful kind of abuse. You can’t stop the abuse without, you being aware of it.
Unfortunately ,the part of the world, where we live in(yes, I am talking about Pakistan,it’s not the same in western countries) it’s not taken as an offence. It’s often overlooked, taken for granted and denied, hence, we don’t seek help or discuss it with people, as especially being women, we are raised believing that, any form of abuse that comes from a man, as our spouse is acceptable. Women face emotional abuse every day without complaining about it, even if they do, nobody considers it as a big deal, without realizing its impact on women’s well-being. It may result in chronic depression, trauma, anxiety, and insecurity.
No, I am not a feminist, men can be emotionally abused too, but in our society, we usually find women being victims, with men acting as women’s protector, they think, they have a right to treat them any way they want, without women complaining about it. Some men even justify hitting women and, argue that it’s allowed in Islam. My suggestion for them is to learn more about Islam..on what grounds or conditions, has it been allowed, and for what kind of women, (those who merely mention their point of view or those who commit adultery)without jumping to any conclusions, or go to an authentic ‘Alim’ before justifying their immoral actions under the false pretense of implementing Islam.
Signs women should look for, if they suspect being Psychologically abused in a relationship:
Frequent teasing and making fun of women (and calling it a joke)
Treating them nicely publicly, but being nasty in private.
Neglecting or abandoning them.
Not considering them worthy of giving an opinion in related matters.
Always criticizing the looks ,dressing and appearance of a woman.
Threatening to divorce and taking children along.
Blaming women for everything that goes wrong.
Withholding any information they have a right to know.
Not protecting or offering any support.
Not taking care of needs, and taking any of the responsibilities that they are entitled to being a husband.
Always making them feel guilty.
Showing disrespect and using foul language.
First of all, if someone is being abused it’s not their fault, abusers manipulate the victim and have a knack to make them feel as if they deserve to be treated the way, they are being treated, they can almost convince you for being guilty. It gets very distressing and people are often in a state of confusion, they are so much stressed that they can’t decide, what is wrong and what is right. It’s highly recommended to seek help. Family counseling sessions can help both the victim and abuser. But other than that, the following are the few things that we need to remind ourselves daily to boost our self-esteem and regain the confidence.
I have every right to be happy.
I am not inferior to anyone in any way.
I am beautiful inside and out, without anyone telling me that.
I am not a slave of anyone’s approval.
I have my own point of view.
I am worthy of respect just like anyone.
I am a human, I can make mistakes, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.
I am capable of taking my decisions, whether right or wrong.
Others opinion about me doesn’t matter.
I am not dependent on anyone,I can take care of myself.
I love myself.