Here’s how to get oh-so-sweet revenge on your boyfriend and actually feel better

They know there’s a famous saying about revenge?

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.

So, girl…

Dump him.

As soon as you can

As fast as you can

Yes, you heard me right girl.

Ditch him, even before he has a chance to react.

Even before he lets you change your mind.

Even before he thinks of dumping you.

Ditch him girl, ditch him.

Don’t give him the satisfaction of being the first one to dump you.

Let’s face it

Straight men come in all shapes and sizes

And if your man happens to be good looking

He will come with women of all shapes and sizes too.

He is like a million dollar lottery which every woman wants to win.

So ask yourself

Do you want to be a part of this deal?

Do you want to buy this lottery ticket which you don’t have a chance to ever win?

Do you think he might be two timming?

if you answered yes to the above question.

then you have some pretty solid reasons to dump him.

Yes, good, you are a smart girl.

So, now we have established that these men are not the keepers.

Now, let’s figure how to go about dumping him and seek revenge.

Shall we…

Following are some easy tips to take best revenge out of him, and of course dump him.

1. Post a Facebook break up status

No, you don’t have to feel guilty about not breaking it to him first. He deserves it, what if he was the who dumped you..would he bother breaking it to you first? Move on girl!! Let him pay for his sins.

2. Call his girlfriends and break the news

Call his girlfriends. One by one. Inform them, since you are dumping him they can use your left over. Now be a smart ass, don’t wait for the response, and just hang up.

3. Put his stuff on SALE

Gather all his belongings, pretty much anything you can get your hands on, from all his clothes, shoes, his laptop,  and put them on a throw away sale. If he comes angry, ready to bash on you, let him know he is lucky not to be on sale too, LOL! This is enough to teach him a lesson or two.

4. They should not be allowed anywhere near you

Make a point not to hear any calls or emails from him, silent your phone, instruct your security guard to let him know, he is not welcomed to your place anymore.

ALSO READ:  11 guys you should never date and avoid like the plague

5. Arrange a break up party

Just like you throw a birthday party, anniversary party or an engagement party. You should follow the ritual and celebrate a break up party too and invite him to the party to celebrate the old times. The invitation in itself will be enough to have him fuming with anger. And in case he happens to show up in a party make sure you have a cake ready to be cut by him.

6. Send him card/chocolates to recover

Don’t let him forget you easily. Just when you think he might be recovering from the shock and getting back to life. Send him a sweet reminder that you are the one who DUMPED him. After all he has been through you need to send him a card written as, “You are so brave” accompanied with complimentary chocolates.

7. Kick them where the sun doesn’t shine

In case he gets hold of you in your weak moments. In the middle of a road, at a friend’s party, car parking or an isolated area, don’t let him win, give him a mighty kick where sun doesn’t shine and run as fast as you can, that’s if you want to save your life.

8. Call his best friend

Call his best friend, tell him how much you hate it to break the news to him.. and would like to avail his services for the purpose. Tell him you think its over between you and him. And let the best friend do his job, yes, soon its going to be the talk of the town, even those who missed the face book status would learn about it too.Trust his best friend to do the job perfectly.

Final words

Actually, society and soaps don’t leave room for us to think for ourselves which is why our perfect picture includes a man by our side but it’s important to remember, all things aside, whatever happens, whatever curveballs life flings at us and whatever our hypocritical society may say, repeat after me: WE DON’T NEED NO MAN AND ARE PERFECT THE WAY WE ARE!!!

ALSO READ: Funny Pick up lines that can never go wrong

 

 

 

 

 

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