My Child’s responsibility is my first priority

First of all my children are my responsibility. It’s my primary duty being a mother to take full responsibility for my child’s actions and conduct. If my child is having behavior issues…or acting a little weird …then, I am the one who is accountable for it.

Mother’s lap is the first institution for any child. A child always looks up to his mother for all his physical as well as his emotional needs. she is responsible for a child’s good upbringing and well-being.

If mothers don’t take the responsibility of their children then who will? we can’t possibly ask schools, daycare centers, our relatives, friends or maids to take the responsibility of our child, what would it leave for us to be responsible for?

Mothers are not ready to accept the child’s responsibility

But today as our mothers becoming self-centered they do not want to accept the child’s responsibility, the way they should be, the first thing a mother does as soon as a child is born is to get him registered in a good Montessori.

You would often hear mothers having this conversation “oh did you get your child registered in a Montessori” as if the child’s very existence depends on that Montessori, and those who fail to register their child are looked down as if they have committed a heinous crime.

Don’t you think all these efforts are done on the part of the mothers to keep their children at arm’s length?…isn’t it what it indicates that they are not ready to take their responsibility as mothers? after all, they are the ones who brought these babies to be part of this society….society didn’t ask for them.

School’s responsibility is secondary

It’s the primary responsibility of a mother to do the upbringing of a child and school’s responsibility is secondary. But we do the exact opposite. No wonder when a child grows up, he’s so used to of not having his parents around him, that even they are of secondary importance to him, and then parents complain of children not giving them importance or treating them with respect, it’s like what goes around, comes around.

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Just sending the child to an expensive school is enough?

Some of the mothers think that sending the child to a well-known expensive school, putting food on his plate and buying him branded toys is enough and their job is done there, but you can’t compensate a parent’s love and attention with these materialistic possessions. It takes a lot more than that.

What happens when parents don’t accept their child’s responsibility?

The way you are going to deal with your child will have an impact on how he will build his relationships around..suppose a girl who never had a loving mother/daughter relationship, wouldn’t know how to raise her own children once she grows up…a boy who never had a bonding with his mother, wouldn’t know what to expect from his wife as a mother…the child will have a confused personality and will struggle throughout his life trying to build his relationships.

These children are those who falls victim to people manipulating them, using them for their purposes, they sometimes even end up taking drugs to feel high as they feel lonely, frustrated, unhappy and unworthy of love.

So people its high time that you start connecting with your child, learn about them, talk to them, listen to them, pay attention to them and above fully accept your child’s responsibility , as they are your children, your blood, your flesh, they belong to you.

What should be done?

The quote below explains it so well, every parent must read it.

If I had my child to raise all over again, I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later. I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I’d take more hikes and fly more kites. I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I’d do more hugging and less tugging’ – Diane Loomans



  1. Hi, thanks for an interesting post 🙂 You made some valid points, and I hope that I manage to implement them in my role as a mother 🙂

    There is just one thing I would like to add. You wrote:

    “But today as our mothers becoming more westernized they do not want to take the responsibility of the child, the way they should have, first thing a mother does as soon as a child is born is to get him registered in a good Montessori.”

    Well, I don’t know about all the western countries but I have been living in Germany since the more than 8 years now. I also have a daughter who recently turned 3 years old MashAllah. In Germany, mothers have many opportunities to bond with their kids. First of all, women are allowed one year maternity leave, with pay …and they can also take further 2 years off. They won’t be paid during those two years but the company has to guarantee that they will be given back their jobs when they return. Now, I have always been a housewife and stay-at-home mom, but many career oriented “German” women take advantage of this facility and concentrate on spending the first 3 years completely with their children. Also, there are no Montessories here and Kindergartens are the child’s first introduction to school life. The minimum age for K.G is 3 years, though in some areas they have now made it 2 and half years old. So before that age, the child has to stay with you at home. And yes, there are day care centres to facilitate those who cannot afford to take too long an absence from their jobs …but the majority mothers do manage to give adequate time to their kids, especially in the initial years. Even later, I have seen mothers admonishing their 6 to 7 years old kids, to not to throw the garbage on the street but to throw in the dustbin. Once I even heard a mother telling her kids not to cross the pedestrian street on the red signal, no matter how cold it is and even if there are no cars in sight. To be honest, at that time, I had been actually contemplating crossing against the signal, as it was very cold and windy, the street was narrow and there were no cars within sight. Yet, when I heard the woman saying that to her kids, it shamed me into waiting for the green signal as well…! Of course, these are only minor things, but I am sure they contribute a lot towards instilling values in children 🙂

    Just thought that you might find this information interesting so I decided to share 🙂

    Again, thanks a lot for writing so beautifully on such an important topic 🙂

    • Ramla! thanks for sharing your views on the subject and giving us insight of what happens in other parts of the world as u mentioned about a year’s maternity leave a mother is given with pay in Germany…that’s really amazing to know..we,living in a Muslim are not being provided with such privileges but rather being bombarded with high expenses and cost of living…thanks for taking out time for commenting..thanks again ! Saima.


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