Learn to say No to kids

To say NO to kids is indeed the most difficult thing to do.

We all agree to this point. Right?

So what makes saying No, the toughest thing for us as parents?

We fear the consequences?

That’s to endure the wrath of our little ones?

That can easily turn one pleasant afternoon into a nightmare?

Or we feel we will be judged and labeled as mean moms?

Whatever your reasons are, but one thing is for sure, its healthy to say no on many occasions when you are tempted to say yes (as you want to avoid unnecessary drama and aftermath of saying no).

There are many occasions when you are tempted to say no to kids but you just don’t why?

Let me share my little story with you.

Ever since the summer vacation of my kids began, I started getting a little irritated. On many occasions, I swear I felt like a ‘Hotel’s room service or a waitress’ who was at a beck and call of my own kids.

With kids ordering me around the house all the time. I felt literally drained, impatient and not to mention a lot cranky ( yea I wasn’t getting my me time).

The purpose of writing this post is not to rant, but to acknowledge the fact that all mothers tend to lose their cool when it comes to kids staying at home during their summer vacations (70 days to be more accurate)

So what compelled me to write this post?

Yesterday as I sat down to write ( project for a client), my little one came to me and said in her sweetest little voice (which I, as a matter of fact had never heard before) “Hey mom, can we have some fries, please”, “Yes sure honey” (who could resist saying no to my kid’s sweetest voice). I served them fries with their favorite ketchup.

As I was thinking to finally get back to work when I heard another call, “Hey mom, can we have home made burgers tonight for dinner”? My face literally dropped at the thought of re-entering the kitchen in such a hot weather. Again I tried acting like a good mother and said yes to them.

Once I was done with dinner and dishes. I finally let out a sigh of relief, thinking to myself, now no more distractions, only me and my laptop.

At that very moment, my elder one came to me this time, “Mama, I am hungry again, can I have something to eat”. It was then that I exploded and lost my cool. My reaction was something that shocked him ” What do you think I am, some kind of a hotel’s room service? the only thing I have to do is serve you food”? As soon as the words came out, I realized I had made a terrible mistake (not something I feel proud of )

 

What should I have had done instead of losing my cool?

I should have had said No and explained to them my reasons for not obliging to their demands. What I did was exact opposite of what I should have done, which was, even more, unhealthier than actually having to say no.

You May also be interested in: ‘An open letter to Mothers who are doing it all wrong’

Things I learnt out of a terrible accident

The only lesson I think I learnt out of this terrible experience is to learn to say no to kids when I think,

 

  • I am having a rough time

 

  • I can’t put with their constant demands

 

  • It’s okay to say no to kids when you feel agitated or something urgent comes up

 

  • When you explain to them that you can do it and still they insist

 

  • When you are exhausted

 

  • When you have deadlines to meet

 

  • When you don’t have help at hand

 

  • When kids ain’t on the best of their behavior

 

  • When kids ain’t showing support

 

Life isn’t a bed of roses, sooner kids understand  the better,

It’s very important for kids to understand that they can’t always have their own way . There will be many times when they will have to hear no or bear disappointments.

To come to terms with anger, disappointments and frustration which will come as a result of saying no to them will teach them some great lessons. Lessons they will thank you for in later part of their lives

EGO hurts

When kids get habitual of always having their own way. Taking No as an answer hurts their ego. Which results in poor self-esteem, difficulty in managing emotions and difficulty in adjusting to new setups and enivronment.

 

 

Conclusion

The problem with us PARENTS is, in order to be good parents, we refuse to say no to kids even when it’s really necessary for our own peace of mind. As we believe it will make us appear less good parents or mean parents. Before even our kids judge us, we start judging ourselves and make us feel miserable. Every time we have to say no to our kids, it’s followed by guilt that we have let our kids down. But in reality, we have only favored them.Good parenting doesn’t mean saying yes all the time. Its only doing what’s best for you and your child.

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1 COMMENT

  1. Nicely written,,,,,
    Remember: your job is to set the limit, not to control how your child feels about it or reacts to it.

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