So, I assume you are looking for the best tips for maintaining healthy relationships, huh?
let me ask you something..
Are you happy with your relationship?
or do you feel lonely, frustrated and inadequate?
Do you often wonder what does it take to make a modern relationship work?
Are some couples exceptionally lucky or, are they doing something that I am lacking in my relationship?
Are you tired of being lonely in your relationship?
Do you feel there’s something definitely wrong with the way your relationship is?
if the above concerns are your concerns too, then let me congratulate you, for you have landed to just the right place.
And I assure you by the time you are done reading this post, all your doubts will be pretty much cleared, you will be filled with positive energy, ready to give your relationship another chance.
However, if you feel positive and content then chances are, you have developed a rapport with your partner and your relationship is in a perfect harmony.
Relationships are hard work, sometimes couples can’t comprehend, what went wrong with their relationship and whom to turn to.
In this post you will find the most practical relationship advice, so without any further ado, let’s dig in
- 17 Effective Tips for Healthy Relationships
- 1. Invest in your relationship
- 2. Treat your partner right, treat them the way you want to be treated
- 3. Compliment More
- 4. Have More Empathy
- 5. Don’t expect perfection
- 6. Be a Good Listener
- 7. Take care of your partner’s needs
- 8. Don’t Just Criticize, rather listen to them
- 9. Agree on Mutual Points
- 10. Avoid Negative Talk
- 11. Stop Arguing
- 12. Focus on Your El
- 13. Don’t try to control, let them be free, and a better version of themselves
- 14. Give Space
- 15. Invest in your happiness
- 16. keep things interesting
- 17. Don’t make comparisons
- The Bottom Line
17 Effective Tips for Healthy Relationships
I am sharing below, are some ‘to do tips’ that will definitely give a love boost to your relationships. These are the best relationship advice that has been personally tried and tested by me. so here we go now.
1. Invest in your relationship
In my experience, there’s one common mistake that people do all the time, that is, “They don’t invest in their relationships”
We don’t invest in our relationships anymore.
No matter you are single, married, dating or just engaged, a relationship needs great investment.
If you are not ready to invest in your relationship, then forget if your situation will ever change.
Sometimes we are so blinded by our egos to realize our own mistakes. Once you figure out what part is it that you’re not doing right, odds are it will sort out many of your relationship issues.
Relationships don’t flourish by themselves. They require a lot of hard work.Let me ask you a very simple question here: If you decide to plant a flower in your garden what would you do? of course, you water it, provide it with the best of soil and sunlight.
To put it in simple words, you invest in it. Similarly, you need to Invest in your relationships too, to make them work.
Let’s be realistic things don’t always turn out to be the way you see in movies or plays. Nothing gets fixed automatically. If one wants to enjoy healthy relationships, then one must strive hard for it.
There’s no magical formula that ‘Fits all’ but hard work and consistency is surely a key to success in anything.
“Find someone who wants to invest in you, learn from you, see you win, support your visions and fall in love with you daily.”— and then in return do the same for them.
“Be with someone who will take care of you. Not materialistically, but take care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you.”
Also read: In a relationship, still lonely?
2. Treat your partner right, treat them the way you want to be treated
“Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.” – Hussein Nishah
I know it’s a little tricky. Your way of treating your partner might be different from mine.
What you need to do is treat your partner similarly the way you would like to be treated yourself. Now we all want people to treat us with respect.
So, first of all, learn to respect your partner. Now respect doesn’t mean you become a doormat to someone or be weak or lose your voice in a relationship. You can still respect your partner while maintaining your own self-respect and dignity.
“Respect is one the greatest expressions of love.” Don Miguel Ruiz
In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it. -Anonymous
It only means that even when you have a difference of opinion with the other person, you still respect the person’s point of view without sounding harsh or rude.
Try to be in their shoes, see things from your partner’s perspective. Make a rule to respect you partner at all times. Having a difference of opinion is only natural, it doesn’t have to affect your relationship with them.
3. Compliment More
According to the author, Terri Orbuch, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great
“Saying and doing small, simple expressions of gratitude every day yields big rewards. When people feel recognized as special and appreciated, they’re happier in that relationship and more motivated to make the relationship better and stronger. And when I say simple, I really mean it. Make small gestures that show you’re paying attention: Hug, kiss, hold hands, buy a small gift, send a card, fix a favorite dessert, put gas in the car, or tell your partner, ‘You’re sexy,’ ‘You’re the best dad,’ or simply say ‘Thank you for being so wonderful.”
In my opinion, nothing works better than complementing or appreciating people a little to maintain a good relationship. Now it doesn’t really cost you a dime or does it? for instance, you can compliment your partner on their new dress or a new hair style or a shade of lipstick. Hell, you can even compliment on their smile.
Making someone’s day or boosting their self-esteem does wonder to people. You are the reason to bring a smile to their faces, you are a reason to transform their world, naturally, they will like you more. You would feel happy too when you make someone happy.
Now don’t confuse compliment with flattery. Compliments made should be genuine and not fake.
Also, take care while complements. There is a difference between a gentleman giving compliments and some guy saying the funny pick up lines!Best #Relationship AdviceClick To Tweet
4. Have More Empathy
According to Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage, and family therapist, “Empathy is truly the heart of the relationship, without it, the relationship will struggle to survive. That’s because empathy requires compassion. And, without compassion, couples can’t develop a bond. A bond is like glue: If there is no glue then everything falls apart.”
Learn to empathize with your partner when they are going through a rough phase in life.
Offer an advice, try to solve their problems in a best possible way you can. When they find you sincere with them and feel that you genuinely care about them. It builds a strong relationship.
5. Don’t expect perfection
Accept the fact your partner will not always be in a pleasant mood. They might be suffering from stress at work, politics at work, financial issues. You can’t possibly expect perfection from them at all times.
“Sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people.” Nicholas Spark
If they get angry or rude to you, learn to forgive them by understanding they must be going through a rough phase in their life. This will put you at ease too. Understanding people at their difficult times is exactly what relationships are all about and as time passes by, people do realize how rude and mean they were to you and apologize too only if you stayed calm.
6. Be a Good Listener
Most of the marriages fail due to this reason that couples don’t take our time to listen to each other.
According to says Jessica Elizabeth Opert, a London-based relationship coach “People assume that most marriages fail because of big bombs—cheating, financial mismanagement, addiction, dishonesty. But the truth is, it’s the small missiles—the everyday action or lack of action—that severs the connection between two people, resulting in a loss of love.”
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” ― Roy T. Bennett,
Listen to what partner has to say. Always give your partner your undivided attention.Find out more about their interests, rather than just talking about yourself only. As a result, you will learn more about them and have a better understanding.
7. Take care of your partner’s needs
Make sure you are not neglecting your partner’s sexual and emotional needs.
“The number one thing I have learned about love is that it is a trade and a social exchange, not just a feeling. Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too. When that exchange is mutually satisfying, then good feelings continue to flow. When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends. That is why it is important to pay attention to what you and your partner actually do for each other as expressions of love… not just how you feel about each other at the moment.”
The best way to make any relationship work is to give your partner their due rights. Don’t make them think they are not important for you or worst giving priority to your career and kids over your partner. Don’t deprive them of their rights even when you have a heated argument or a fight.
Sometimes we get so much engrossed in making money or raising perfect kids that we forget that our partner needs our time too. He/she is suffering from loneliness.
Think about it once your children grow up, you retire from work its your better half that you are going to spend the rest of your life. So, make sure in your relationship your partner is your priority.Best #Relationship AdviceClick To Tweet
If you give everyone their due rights, you will enjoy balanced relationships.
8. Don’t Just Criticize, rather listen to them
Don’t criticize your partner when they come to you to share their problems, by saying ‘ Look I told you so and so’ ‘how could be so foolish’. Most of the times people just want you to listen to them without offering any advice or criticism.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie
9. Agree on Mutual Points
According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino
“For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, education, values, personality, hobbies), the better. Partners should be especially sure that their values match before getting into marriage. Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love. Another secret for a long marriage: Both partners need to commit to making it work, no matter what. The only thing that can break up a relationship is the partners themselves.”
Try to talk about things that you have in common with your partner, instead of talking about things that they can’t relate to or have a difference of opinion on. If they realize that you don’t have similar interests or you talk mostly about things that only interest you.
It will greatly affect your relationship with them. Imagine a person talking about Shakespeare or Marlowe with you when your least interested in literature, how would you react?
10. Avoid Negative Talk
Try to have a positive conservation with your partner. Don’t always complain. Talk about current affairs, sports or the latest trends. Don’t spoil the fun by just talking about your problems only or reminiscing your past tragic events. If you continue with your negative talk chances are they will avoid your company as it only aimed to depress them. Be that someone they enjoy being with, be an entertainer, be a chatterbox. Be a source to bring positivity in your partner’s life.
Nobody wants to hear about your problems believe me. They will start having negative vibes from you and will avoid you like a plague.
11. Stop Arguing
Don’t destroy your relationships with your partner to win an argument. It’s alright, two adults can have a different point of you. In other words, agree to disagree. Avoid topics that can lead to heated arguments.
12. Focus on Your El
Spend a good time developing your emotional intelligence (El). Among other things, emotional intelligence will help you clearly recognize your own emotions and what they’re telling you.
According to the famous scholar, Athena Staik, Ph.D.
“The mastery over the emotional intelligence permits the couple to remain present and loyal to their partners. It handles all the situations calmly and allows remaining in the relationship smoothly.”
High EI also helps you identify the emotions and needs of others.Best #Relationship AdviceClick To Tweet
13. Don’t try to control, let them be free, and a better version of themselves
The last thing you want to do is control your partner. Love doesn’t grow when you put the pressure on performance. Your excessive control on your partner’s activities might leave your partner feel trapped or being controlled in a relationship.
Don’t make them do things they are not comfortable doing. Constant questioning, spying on a partner’s activities indicate you don’t trust them, which is a reason enough for the failure of a relationship.
14. Give Space
Allow each other sufficient space. Don’t suffocate your partner by demanding they always stay with you, its okay let them relax, go out with his friends. His relationship with you doesn’t mean he stops his relationship with other people he knew before he met you. Learn to give and receive space. Its also not a good idea to meddle in your partner’s affair all the time. There has to be a certain privacy in every relationship, respect it.
“A friend taught me that no matter how in love you are or how long you’ve been together, it’s important to take an exhale from your partnership. Hang out with girlfriends until late in the evening, take a weekend trip to visit family, or just spend time ‘doing you’ for a while. Then when you go home to Yours Truly, you’ll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger.
15. Invest in your happiness
The best relationship advice would be to invest in your happiness. Don’t relate happiness with marriage. Happiness has to come from inside. If you expect your partner to bring you happiness then you are mistaken, happiness is a personal responsibility and in order to be happy, we must invest in our happiness.
We need to find things that make us feel good about ourselves, something that makes us happy. Go out with your girlfriends, enroll in a dance class, go hiking. Everything you do in life isn’t supposed to be done with your partner only.
“You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”
According to Margaret Paul, Ph.D., relationship expert and co-creator of Inner Bonding,
“There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment. We can ‘abandon’ ourselves in many areas: emotional (judging or ignoring our feelings), financial (spending irresponsibly), organizational (being late or messy), physical (eating badly, not exercising), relational (creating conflict in a relationship), or spiritual (depending too much on your partner for love). When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner.”
16. keep things interesting
Why after sometime marriage becomes a boring thing? that’s because once married you start taking things for granted. I suggest you keep things hot and interesting to keep the magic alive in a relationship.
According to Sari Cooper, LCSW licensed individual, couples, and sex therapist,
“Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more as time goes by. Partners begin to take their love for granted and forget to keep themselves turned on and to continue to seduce their partner. Keep your ‘sex esteem’ alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life.”
17. Don’t make comparisons
Comparisons lead to unhappy marriages. The worst of all mistakes couple could do is comparing their partner with someone else. There’s nothing more saddening or damaging for your relationship than constant comparisons with others lives.
When you compare your partner with someone else you lose your partner’s love and respect, your partner feels humiliated, you are deprived of your inner peace too. The key is to practice gratitude and be happy with what you have rather than looking for something others have and you don’t.
The Bottom Line
In the end, I would just say Humans are social animals, they do need other human beings around them to survive. Hence, it’s important for each of us to make our relationships work until and unless one wants to be a loner.
At the end of the day, we all want to share our happy moments, adventures, our success stories, as well as our failures, it only makes us humans, and it will only be possible when we take some time out to work on our relationships.
I hope you liked this post, if there are any tips of your own that you would like to add to the post, please feel free to add in the comment section.